Spotlight Story Program: Devri Velazquez’s Story

Meet Devri Velazquez

Our latest Spotlight Story comes from someone we’ve adored for over a year now.  She’s not only got one of the best Instagram aesthetics we’ve ever seen, but she also has found a real niche for combining artistry with health activism. It is beauty and wellness editor and writer, Devri Velazquez.  Whether she is in Texas, New York City (where our founder, Dominique got to meet her), or Chicago, Devri has maintained her constant push for awareness on the life of a becoming an adult while living with chronic illness, specifically when you’re becoming your own person with invisible illness.

At 20 years old, Devri was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune vascular disease called Takayasu’s Disease. This is “a rare type of vasculitis, a group of disorders that cause blood vessel inflammation. In Takayasu’s, the inflammation damages the aorta—the large artery that carries blood from your heart to the rest of your body—and its main branches. For Devri, it took a series of strange flu-like symptoms and within a few weeks, her diagnosis was found.

Like thousands of the InvisiYouth community, Devri was diagnosed as a young adult, and that is a time in life when you are still discovering so much of who you are, and where you’d like your life to go.

I was 20 when I was diagnosed, so I feel like I had to grow up and mature soon than a lot of people I knew,” Devri said. “I had to quit taking certain risks that young people around me weren’t anywhere close to stopping. I take my self-care seriously, as my life depends on setting healthy boundaries.”

This is an experience that so many older youth have to deal with when maintaining their friendships while taking care of their health needs.

Self-care needs to be a requirement when you’re living with chronic illness instead of just a personal motivator.

Devri’s health journey has absolutely not only shaped the way she lives her daily life, but also how she does her work as a writer and editor on beauty and wellness, which everyone can experience on her website.  “I live and breathe survival everyday, in the places I go and the people I meet,” she said. “This is my lifestyle, learning everyday how to cope with constant pain that fluctuates by the hour. I pour my heart and passion into everything I do because I try not to take a single moment for granted.

Living with chronic illness takes so much daily energy, so when you’re able to achieve your goals, there is an extra large dose of enjoyment that can be felt. Like Devri points out, it completely alters the way you adapt to each and every day based on how your body is feeling and what you are capable of doing. And while that could be a focus of negativity at the challenges life with chronic illness presents, Devri is also able to see how her diagnosis has also given her new perspectives on life.

I always knew I was strong, but this has made me feel unbreakable. Nothing on this Earth and no person’s words or actions could ever hurt me as much as my body does on a daily basis, so I have learned to be more open-minded to a lot of things and not take certain situations as seriously. Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent, so relish the good moments, and know that the bad ones will pass.

There is so much to get empowered with from Devri’s mentality on her health journey. She’s right: no external factors in life can be as damaging as chronic illness is to your health, so you are actually a lot stronger than you think. Devri makes such a fantastic point: when you are having bad health days, you need to remember everything is temporary and with inner strength and willpower, you can to push those bad health days.

This is something we definitely get to experience through Devri’s social media activism on her Instagram account. Another trait of Devri’s that we all adore at InvisiYouth Charity is her complete vulnerability and belief that by sharing her medical journey, she can not only help others but also learn and grow herself.

Vulnerability is something that has help me accept and embrace the illness that my body carries,” Devri said. “I don’t feel defined by it, but it’s a part of my story now, and I’m not ashamed. I’m actually pretty proud of how well I carry this burden. Being open to your community—family, friends, colleagues—is so important, for your own mental health as well as their understanding and compassion in your journey.

What Devri touches on a couple of critical factors every young adult with chronic illness needs to know.  First, is the understanding that we are never defined by our illnesses or disability, but rather they are part of our description. Our health is not who we are, but rather it is part of the way we view our life and world around us, and that is not anything we should be ashamed of.

Second, Devri mentions something InvisiYouth always promotes, and that is the fact that a support network is critical to our daily success in life. Our family, friends and coworkers/classmates, they are all the people that help us get through the bad days, and celebrate the good ones.

This amazing young woman is filled with knowledge, realness and motivation. Not to mention, some of the best writing and photography we ever see! So when we asked Devri what her main message in life for other with chronic illness would be, it is no surprise that Devri would give the best.

Be your biggest advocate,” Devri said. “Learn how to say ‘no’ with confidence. If something doesn’t feel right—an interaction with another person, an environment, a job—it is okay to walk away from it. Do what your gut instinct tells you to do, just trust it with everything and then respond accordingly. That’s your mind, body and soul aligning to work in the favor of your higher self.”

When You’ve Got Health Hindsight: My 10-Year Anniversary with Chronic Illness

December 30, 2018

Well hello again, long time, no blog! It has clearly been a while since my last founder’s blog, but that’s just because InvisiYouth Charity has been keeping me so damn busy. (*and if you’ve been keeping up with InvisiYouth, you’ve gotten to know the reason for that is our new video podcast series, InvisiYouth Chat Sessions, which I am the hostwhich will be continuing throughout 2019*)

So, let’s get real for a minute.

One thing I’m a firm believer in is to always celebrate your small victories, and especially while you live with chronic illness/disability. You should be proud of all you achieve, regardless of the scale. But one of our volunteers reminded me of a milestone I just reached—10 years since the injury that caused the snowball of chronic illness into my life.

I’m aware it may see odd to celebrate my chronic illnesses. And yes, they really did take my life from me while my illnesses were a daily torture, but living with health struggles has also given me a life, a new normality, that I am incredibly proud of. While that’s my optimism trying to stay in focus, I refuse to stay in a mindset of resentment for my life.

As a resident “oldie” of my illness for a decade, I wanted to share my hindsight of life with chronic illnesses and the top 10 things I’ve learned after these 10 years:

#1 Diagnosis Won’t Be a Magic Wand, But It Sure Feels Nice

This is probably one of the biggest things I’ve gained hindsight on, while also being the most controversial.  It took me years to get proper diagnosis, years with mistreatment that could have improved my now-quality of life, but there’s something anyone that reads my work will notice. I rarely write down my diagnoses, and there’s a reason. Still to this day, I have had diagnoses given to me and taken away, some putting “undiagnosed” in front new diagnoses in my medical charts while others were certain. I used to put so much pressure on getting the name, getting the diagnosis and THEN I would be able to go through recovery and my new way of living. I wanted some claim of community for what I experienced. But even when I got one, it didn’t change much for me.  I still heard from doctors “well, this isn’t an illness we can cure, so we can just help you cope with it.”  The longer I lived without diagnosis, the longer I realized that it would not ‘fix’ what I was experiencing in my daily life.  Now yes, I am very aware some illnesses have amazing treatment which you get from a proper diagnosis, and that a diagnosis can really validate the patient experience because it allows them to belong and justify their health struggles. But for so many, the diagnosis isn’t the “cure it” pill, but rather the name we get to identify with. In hindsight, I learned that a diagnosis was less of a magic wand, and more of an identity helper and validation tool. I know I relate to a few different chronic illness communities, and my doctors are doing all they can to help with my health’s symptomatic issues, so a word doesn’t hold as much weight to me anymore.

#2 Celebrate the Small Daily Wins, Not Your “Literal” Falls

So often, we focus on what our bodies limit us from doing, what our chronic illnesses have taken away from our lives.  And that Negative-Nancy mindset can do a lot of damage on your emotional wellbeing when all your mental energy is focused on what goes wrong in your day and your health. When one thing goes wrong, it can feel like a domino-effect, or in my case, my own literal falls (since that tends to happen a lot). But when you’ve lived with a chronic illness for years, you gain a retrospective mindset because you’re able to look back on the periods of bad and good health. It makes you realize that if you celebrated those wins, all those days—or even hours—of stable, good health, then you’d be able to feel achievement and pride.

You’d be able to realize the focus of your energy is better served on those good moments, instead of all the setbacks and bad days.  I remember hearing the notion “every day may not be a great day, but you can find something great in each day” and that was what I began to live by a few years into my health journey.  Even if the best thing that happened was that I got out of bed, it was at least one thing I did well that day. When I gave full over-the-top celebration on each of my little wins with my health, it made my mentality more positive. It would start to feel oddly annoying when I had health setbacks because I wasn’t focused on the bad it caused in my life for most each year. The goal was to never give my chronic illnesses more power than they already had, so daily mini-winning parties for me.

#3 Become Your Best Researcher, Advocate and Nurse (knowledge=EMpowerED)

Knowledge is power. You need to be able to fight for your rights, for what you need to best help your life with health struggles.  So much was bounced over me, especially when I was a teenager and still a minor in the eyes of the medical community. That may have been the case, but it was still my body, my health, and my life.  I was lucky…my mom is an incredible nurse and has instilled in me the idea that no one will be a better advocate than YOU, so ask all the questions, inquire and research anything that may be done for you, and always get a second opinion on major medical decisions. I was taught how to advocate for my medical needs, how to research on the treatment options, to ask accurate questions, and have intelligent discussions with my doctors.  But this is not something everyone knows right when their health declines, it’s a trait to learn and sharpen.  With hindsight, I know that my health deserved my research and support to improve. I hear from lots of young adults that work with InvisiYouth “I’m the best researcher and nurse for my chronic illnesses, because I know my health and life better than anyone.”

#4 Reminiscing About the Past Can Hurt Sometimes

We can always learn from our past, but when you have a specific marker that defines “before I got sick” and “after I got injured” your past can feel bittersweet. I used to always focus on my past and feel like I wasn’t progressing enough with my health, that my chronic illnesses had done so much damage to my life.  And in a way, that could be true. The dream of playing tennis competitively on the pro-circuit died, my social network diminished, and my physical health deteriorated. But it didn’t mean I wasn’t still living my life or I wasn’t proud of the life I was building. So, when I constantly was looking at what my illnesses had taken from me, I was damaging my emotional wellbeing, and that began to hurt. My past with pristine health is something I love, and now I look at it with a great deal of fondness. But the way I’ve handled it is to look at it in those two separate parts: the before and after. If I stay in a mindset of “what ifs” then I lose my positivity, and that is not something I am willing to do. I have learned over the years since my injury, I have learned to have respect for all the years of my life, and to never feel bad or ashamed of my illnesses. By doing that, I don’t focus on what my past looked like, but rather how I have strengthened into the woman I am, how I’ve become more empathic and how I have been able to thrive in my life. I focus on the now, while giving importance to the past and future when it relates to my memories and my dreams, or my medical history, of course!

#5 Let Yourself WallowBut You Only Get One Hour

People have this ideal notion that you’ve got to be happy all the time. That if you feel sadness as a direct effect of your chronic illness/disability, you are not fighting hard enough for your health. I started to feel like I needed to be positive, to always find the goodness in my struggles, because people were “inspired” by my inner fight and “motivated” by my positive outlook.  And while that is true, that is because I let myself grieve my old life and feel for the literal pain and discomfort I have each day.  I can be strong and positive because I know when to let myself feel bad.  With a decade of chronic illness-life under my belt, I can see it was a great decision to let myself wallow for all my chronic illnesses have pained me. But what I learned is now the advice I give: allow yourself time to wallow, but make sure it only maxs out at one hour. I give myself this time limit for a reason.  If I let myself continue to feel bad about my health struggles, it will fester and to climb out of that depressive dark hole is a huge challenge. But you should be allowed to experience all the emotions of life with health struggles. You are a human being and that spectrum of emotions deserves to be felt. It is something that has worked so well for me because I allow myself to feel all the sadness and mourning and pain that is physically tortuous on my health, but I never let it overtake me.  Sit in your emotions, but know you are in just as much control of your life as your chronic illness/disability is of your physical health. When I realized my own strength, but also allowed myself to feel bad, it allowed that positive mindset to shine, so let that positive focus to thrive be your superior emotion.

#6 Be Fearless to Help Yourself in Public. You Won’t See those Judgy Strangers Again

To this day, my friends will say they know the minimum about my health struggles—many of them not even knowing the extent till they came to InvisiYouth fundraisers or my public speaking engagements. But that decision was because I was always a private person, and never felt the details needed to be shared.  I relied on the invisible nature of my chronic illnesses so it would never be the first thing people noticed about me. But when my symptoms and health struggles expanded into the physical, everyone would notice, feel pity, or ask prying questions. After a couple years of worrying about what others thought, I spoke with my mom and she got real with me. “Why are you worrying about people’s opinions? You never see them again, and it’s just stressing you out unnecessarily.” I flipped a switch and stopped caring about the wandering eyes and whispered comments. We’ve got lots to worry about with chronic illness, so worrying about what other people are judging us for when they pass by should NOT be on the list. They are strangers and not substance to what makes you who you are. And let’s get real…even I fall victim to worrying about what others think on occasion.

Recently, I went into NYC for a brunch with this lovely British blogger while she, her older brother and her boyfriend were celebrating her brother’s birthday. At that time, I had to use a cane and on my commute, I used it and got lots of stares that it didn’t faze me. But the moment I got to the restaurant, I put the cane away to make sure they did not know my medical status. I hid the cane in my bag, suffered the few steps to our table and back outside without these three new friends knowing anything. And the second I was out of sight, I grabbed my cane. Even I have moments of self-doubt, but I don’t let them define me. I could have used my cane in front of them (her brother has one of the same chronic illnesses I do) but for that 20% of my day, I concealed my reality. That is okay…because 80% is greater than 20% and I made it a point to use my cane for all my meetings, family gatherings and shopping trips in the days after. Because I am fearlessly confident with my chronic illnesses, and moments don’t define a life!

#7 Even in the Hard Days, Just Try to Laugh Because It Helps You Cope

With InvisiYouth and in my daily life, I firmly believe that laughter is the best medicine. For me, I have truly seen the way my humor, or blunt sarcasm, has helped me cope with my chronic illnesses. When things get bad medically and you’re told your limitations, I found humor was not just a cushion from my harsh reality, but a way I could look at life.  Humor supports your emotions. And sometimes with all life can throw at you when you’re living with chronic illness, you just want to laugh so you don’t cry. But I also view laughter not just as literal laughing at my medical problems, but experiencing humorous moments too! When I wasn’t as mobile or active in my past, I would find TV shows, YouTube channels or movies that would make me laugh.  Even if it was as basic as TV show review podcasts, if it got me to laugh while my health struggles were tragic, then all was being done well.  Sometimes we need to take our chronic illnesses/ disability seriously, focus on how our bodies can manage hour-by-hour, handle new treatments or hospital stays. The need for humor in our lives should to be prominent too. How else can you handle diagnosis, setbacks and side effects unless you laugh at your bad days? In hindsight, I can easily say my dark humor is one of the largest factors that got me through my lowest lows, and got me to the stage of my new normal ten years later!

#8 Body Positivity ≠ 24/7 Body Confidence

It used to feel like such a challenge to remain confident about my body for a couple reasons. Firstly, I have a distinct “pre-illness” life I can remember before the injury. And I had a competitive athlete’s teenager physique, so there had to be a deep acceptance my body may never look that way again. Secondly, my health struggles are physically taxing, so I go from living with an invisible illness to an illness that morphed, damaged and scarred parts of my body. It’s literally painful to use my entire left side, and even though a decade into it, I’ve learned how to live this new normality with quality, it means I “workout to be in shape” more uniquely than most. But the truest way I’ve gained confidence with my body is finding an appreciation that it does work for me. I’m grateful when I can climb a flight of stairs because I remember when that wasn’t possible. I am the only one that must live in my skin, so if I’m not going to find my body beautiful, it won’t matter if anyone else does. So, I have learned over these 10 years to find confidence in the functional body I have to work with, instead of desperately desiring more toned legs or smaller hips and a slimmer face. And now, I have such a respect for what this body of mine is capable of, the battle scars I find sexy and the imperfections that make me the woman I am. This body has fought my chronic illnesses with me, and that helps with my body positive mindset.

#9 Ask for Help When You Need it and That Will Make You Stronger

How I wish I accepted this earlier! When I was in the early stages of health struggles, I hated asking for help. It felt like a defeat or failure. Like my hours of physical therapy, focus on treatments and doctor visits hadn’t worked and I wasn’t doing enough. But what took me years to realize was a simple fact: Even my friends without chronic illness/disability needed to ask for help at times. Now granted, my requests and needs are a bit more major and frequent, but looking back, I made my daily life harder than necessary to live without asking for help. I physically struggled walking and interacting in classes because I didn’t want anyone to know it was hard for me.

I strained my limitations to meet deadlines, which caused medical setbacks that left me weeks to recover.  But asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather, it is a sign of strength. You are so connected with your medical needs that you are willing to gain support to achieve goals. That makes you stronger than anyone because you know what your goals are and have passion to get things done, and those are signs of an independent and successful person. I started to become less afraid of saying “Can you help me?” or “Do you know how to adapt this to what I can do?” Word of advice: ask for help because you want to live your life with purpose, and while it’s totally normal to feel like you’re bothering people, realize each supporter will make you stronger.

#10 Don’t Fake Smile to Pacify Others. YOU are the Only One Living This Life

I could not have picked a better piece of reflection on my ten years of chronic illness life than this one. As I began to live my life with chronic illness longer and longer, my health became my identifier. I was no longer just Dominique, but the ‘sick’ friend. I wasn’t part of the conversation, but the full medical dictionary to the questions thrown at me. And the more I interacted with “healthy/able-bodied” people, the more I ‘put on’ a happy face. I felt guilty if other people knew how bad things were medically because it felt like they were going to start pitying me more too. I pacified others constantly being “the happy, strong girl with health struggles” who never complained and always said “it’s okay.” But the only person that it was affecting was me.  It was me who had to put extra energy into “feeling as healthy as I looked” and that wasn’t fair. I learned since I was the one person that had to live inside this body all year-round, I had to find ways to adapt to it.  And if my illness struggles bothered people, if my realness was too much, then that had to be okay, and they were not the right people to have in my life. Don’t hide how you are feeling from other people. Life isn’t perfect, it is multi-faceted and messy at times, and don’t make everyone around you comfortable when you are not. Live your life the way you want to live it. And the people that love and respect you, the people that are the most compassionate are the same people that will stick around during all your “faces of emotions” and will open their minds and hearts to empathize with your experiences.

When you were not born with a disability or chronic illness, 10 years of health struggles is a long time.  It takes up such a part of way you live and view the world and yourself.  And that lets you take a step back, and learn and appreciate all you’ve experienced. Dig deep and you will be proud of the thriving life you make for yourself with all its medical quirks and adaptations, trust me!

~Dominique

Spotlight Story Program: Sophie Ward’s Story

Meet Sophie Ward

When life brought health challenges into British 24 year old Sophie Ward’s life, ending her dreams of trying out for the 2012 London Olympics, she used her fighter athlete spirit to get to the bottom of her struggles. After a diagnosis of Lyme Disease, Sophie not only focused to improve her health, but worked around the UK with Parliament, on radio/television, and with her blog to bring awareness to Lyme Disease education and prevention. She’s a kind and passionate young women, inspiring others to find their inner empowerment. And as an InvisiYouth Global Brand Leader, Sophie uses her advocacy and philanthropic skills to bring positive change to our international older youth crowd. 

In August 2008, my family and I travelled to Beijing to watch the Olympics. Many of my friends were competing in the swimming events and my dream was to reach London 2012, so it was a perfect opportunity to soak up the atmosphere, support my friends and learn what to expect. Once the Olympics were over we decided after traveling all that way it would be silly not to sight see. So, we did! We were lucky enough to go to the Panda sanctuary and it was AMAZING.

Here is where my nightmare started. I began with a fever after seeing the pandas. I was treated at the time with 48 hours of antibiotics which seemed to do the trick.

On returning home, I was forced to give up my swimming career due to nerve damage after an umbilical hernia operation. I felt lost. The years went on and my health declined; weight loss was the result was increasing food intolerances, migraines, joint pain, muscle weakness, blurred vision, confusion, muscle pain, fatigue, insomnia, temperature sensitivities, itchy skin, rash, nausea and so on. There seemed to be a new symptom every week. I saw doctor, after doctor, after doctor. All of them passed me on to the next or called me crazy.

I was losing the will to keep fighting. Was I crazy? Was it me? My family questioned my health too. Sometimes asking me directly if I was the cause of my health issues and to ‘snap out of it.’ How could I ‘snap out’ of something I zero control over.

2017 began and after going to the hospital for food intolerance tests, the consultant suggested I  see someone who specializes in CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) as at lot of my symptoms matched. The consultant gave nothing away at the time. He just told me to do some blood samples so I did, and returned a month later for the results. We were shocked. I looked at my Mum confused, she grabbed my hand.

I knew for so long I’d been struggling but I still coped. Feeling a bit off didn’t mean I would lay in bed all day. My professor read my results out to me. That stated I had very active Lyme levels and Coxsackie virus. Along with Epstein Barr virus and Herpes 1,2 and 6. At first, we thought FABULOUS a diagnosis… how do we cure it?

Then Lyme disease and the other viruses were explained to us. This fight would be for life, a life-long struggle. The fight would become my life.

I returned to my GP (general physician) with the results and they told me I was crazy, I had an eating disorder because my weight was so low, and I would have to suffer with a ‘chronic disease’ for it to stay so low. They told me my results were false because they had been carried out above and tried to section me. The consultant however, couldn’t find any grounds on which to section me. I was perfectly sane.

I did try inpatient help on my own accord for my eating. It was an utter disaster! I lost 5.5lbs in just 6 days! They starved me on a liquid, low calorie diet and then bombarded me with everything I was intolerant too. I was so sick and hungry. I was forced to discharge myself. This proved to my GP it wasn’t me, it wasn’t my fault and I was perfectly sane. This battle will be is endless and there is no rest.

My health journey has made me PASSIONATE about helping others who are going through similar situations, trying to raise awareness about Lyme disease to prevent people from going through this hell.  A cure, even though we fight for one everyday is a long way of yet. Prevention is key to save future generations and loved ones from the disease at this point.

I am part of the Lyme Discussion UK Administration team and work closely with my local MP (Member of Parliament) to raise awareness on Lyme Disease. I hope my journey and story inspires many who suffer with a variety of chronic illnesses and that we never feel ALONE OR INVISIBLE as our illnesses can often make us.

I strongly believe knowledge is power, so I continue to learn and gain knowledge through meeting people, talking, listening and reading.

People are the best form of lessons and knowledge. Listening is SO important, people relate, people feel less alone and less alien. We pick up hints and tips, look down different paths and doors open.

My work with the Lyme Discussion Group has helped me understand the political fight we face, meet likeminded-people, gain advice, knowledge and FRIENDS. In my work, I have offered support to people who no longer want to keep fighting. My family has fought to have signs and poster placed around Residential and holiday parks across the country and I have my local MP fighting and pushing Government for better tests, treatment methods, research and awareness information.

I am also a Global Brand Leader also work with InvisiYouth Charity!

I hope to make friends, gain further knowledge and help people like myself who often feel LOST, worthless and crazy. I hope to inspire people to find a purpose when there doesn’t seem to be one and celebrate all the victories and pleasures in life to boost our moods and keep us fighting.

And my blog, Sophantastic, has been my own personal journal. A journal to store my research, new knowledge, treatment stories, personal struggles and medical issues with the world in hope that others can relate, and we can find comfort in not feeling alone in our struggles.

I won’t let the world change me, I must change the world. And I must change the world to become more accepting.

So many of us have battled years with feeling like we are ‘alien’ and don’t belong. Just because we are poorly it doesn’t mean we can’t reach our dreams, we can’t make a difference and we are crazy. Our dreams and goals may have to be altered but the constant ignorance and dismissal in the health industry for people with chronic illnesses and chronic disease is not acceptable or healthy.

Society needs to learn to not see our weaknesses in a negative light but as stepping stones to learn and gain strength from. To add power to our strengths. This simple change would help improve lives because everyone knows a strong mind is the best weapon.

My life with Lyme Disease has inspired me to become the stronger person I am today. I have felt pain beyond my limits and become grateful for every moment.

It has taught me that nothing can hold us back, only WE hold us back. We have the power to change the world, empower and inspire people all around the world.

Spotlight Story Program: Shona Cobb’s Story

Meet Shona Cobb

Breaking the stigma-ceiling for chronic illness and disability comes to second nature to British 20 year old, Shona Cobb. She’s used her experience of life with Marfan Syndrome to empower others living with disabilities and illnesses, and change the way businesses, media and society treat disability. Shona uses her successful blog and speaking on TV and radio around England to bring change to disability rights, and as an InvisiYouth Global Brand Leader, Shona’s advocacy can reach an international stage. 

‘Is there a cure?’ is a response I get time and time again when explaining my rare condition to everyone from friends to strangers in the street. Perhaps if I were diagnosed as a teenager, or even an adult, the realization that there is no cure for my condition would have been a difficult one but knowing all my life that I have a genetic condition has given me a long time to come to terms with my prognosis.

Marfan Syndrome is the name of my primary condition, the starting point for all my secondary conditions. It’s a genetic connective tissue disorder, with my Mum having passed it on to me, and it can be visible quite far back in our family tree, with 2 family members dying from associated complications during my lifetime. A daunting aspect of this multi-systemic condition.

Long limbs are one sign of the condition and my unusually long arms and legs were visible on ultrasound scans while my Mum was still pregnant with me. Officially I was diagnosed as a toddler, when I started to meet more of the criteria, but my Mum knew that I had inherited Marfan a while before that.

For most of my childhood I was a happy, energetic child. I had hypermobile joints that I would show off to my classmates and I got ‘growing pains’ a lot more than my peers. Unpleasant but not unmanageable. It was as a teenager that more serious problems started appearing. I found myself missing more and more classes to attend hospital appointments, and the reality of my condition started to sink in. It wasn’t just something I happened to have anymore, it was affecting my daily life.

I was diagnosed with Scoliosis, a curve in my spine, at 13 years old and by 15 I was unable to climb the stairs at school, finding myself doing worksheets in the library instead of joining my classmates on the top floor of the main building.

It was isolating and really affected me because I loved education and learning, I thrived at school and worked hard. So, when I was booked in to have surgery to correct the curve with titanium rods and screws I was over the moon at the prospect of some relief from the back pain. I blogged about my experience, with my Mum keeping a diary of my first week in hospital, which proved to be a good idea as I barely remember that week. I even documented my experience with a complication post-surgery and finding out that I would need a second surgery. That was the beginning of me using my experiences to educate and support others, and it was also the start of my body beginning to crumble.

By 18 I’d had one hip replaced and the other being on its way to needing the same, a difficult thing to get your head round when joint replacements are so often associated with elderly people. I really thought that after my spinal surgery, I would return to life as normal. Then after my hip replacement, I was sure that was it, I’d surely endured enough. It was downhill from there though and now, at 20 years old, I’m a powerchair user with a large cyst at the bottom of my spine being my current issue.

It’s incredible how humans adapt, after every surgery I believed it was over, I believed I could not cope with anymore but again and again I proved myself wrong. Resilient, that ‘s what people would call me. I believe though that we all deal with the hand life gives us in whatever way we can, everyone has struggles and mine happen to be health related. Others deal with grief, violence, homelessness, the list goes on. I was determined to take the hand I’d been dealt and make the best of it.

It would take me all day to list everything I’ve been involved with in the past 2 years. I’ve used my blog and social media to raise awareness of Marfan Syndrome and educate people on disability issues. I’ve talked about how environmental movements can affect and exclude disabled people on the news. I’ve been involved with a national newspaper’s project to document the daily access problems I come across as a powerchair user. For someone who was painfully shy as a child, I’ve certainly come out of my shell, and that is all down to me having a chronic illness and being disabled. I feel I’ve found my calling in life. I’m not currently able to work but I can use my free time and my voice to help raise awareness and make real change.

I’ve helped local shops install ramps to improve access for disabled people and I’ve worked with organisations to improve their inclusivity. Charity work is something I’ve passionate about though, being the Marfan ambassador for The Hypermobility Syndromes Association (HMSA) and being the youngest person in a British Heart Foundation (BHF) patient advisory group. I’ve taken what life has given and done my best with it.

People often speak about disability and chronic illness as though it’s the worst thing, but I feel empowered by disability. I am proud to be a young disabled woman, I am proud of the change I’ve made and am trying to make in this world. Being disabled and chronically ill is a huge part of my identity, why shouldn’t I be proud of that?

I hope to inspire other disabled and chronically ill people to be empowered by their conditions too, as many other disabled activists and campaigners have done for me. I scroll through my Instagram feed and I feel empowered to see so many disabled people not being ashamed of their disability and embracing their bodies.

I’ve still many rocky roads ahead of me, including major open-heart surgery and potentially more risky spinal surgery, but I still look forward, looking back at the past, at a life that could have been, has never done me any favours. I’m looking forward now, looking forward to the change I can make in the world, looking forward to being more confident and looking forward to a time where disabled and chronically ill people can feel empowered by their disability without others telling us we shouldn’t.

I’m excited to fulfill these goals and support others, especially in my new role as a Global Brand Leader for InvisiYouth!

 

The Catch 22 of Illness and Disability Portrayals in Media: All Representation is Good Representation vs. Accuracy Only, Please

February 25, 2018

When I get a rare bit of time to relax, I sometimes just want to put my feet up and watch some TV. And when those flashy, at times 100-level volume, commercials come on, my interest is usually only peaked when a new movie trailer popped on the screen . Well…trailers or one of my staple favorites commercials like the Swiffer commercials with Lee and Morty comes on for a good laugh. I always like to see what stories are being told in film, and what may be worth a watch. Whether I’m in need of a good laugh or cry, a love story or comedy, or some intense action–never a horror film since I’m too easily spooked–trailers are my swipe left or swipe right decider.

In the last couple years, I’ve noticed what feels like a push in films that have led characters and plot lines focused on chronic illnesses and disabilities. You would imagine I would overwhelmingly love seeing this, after all, I founded InvisiYouth Charity where I’m constantly pushing and motivating for equal representation. But as I watch these trailers, the feeling is mixed between a quick boost of excitement and a similarly immediate drop of frustration.

I feel flooded with a ping-pong of thoughts:

  • Wow, finally a film bringing a lead character with a rare, not main stream-known disease.
  • Are there seriously no disabled actors that can actually be hired to actually portray the actual illness or disability?
  • Representation is great for young adult health conversations and awareness!
  • Does every chronically ill or disabled person in a movie have to be the center of a love story of overcoming some massive life crisis? Can’t they just be a character with a storyline that happens to be sick or disabled?
  • It’s brilliant getting conversations going about young adults living with illness. They are just young adults like anyone else too.
  • These actors aren’t acting like an authentic sick or disabled person. Someone with that illness definitely cannot do that, it’s not true.

For me, it’s a Catch 22 scenario with my sentiments on what truly matters most: awareness or accuracy.  And maybe I maintain an overly positive mindset and believe that both are valuable, and try to find the best in what is coming out in the media. I want to believe that, while I have a ton of issues with the inaccuracy of portrayals and lack of diverse casting, there can be some good in this wave of films addressing characters with disabilities or illnesses, especially for the young adults that are watching them.  Just in the purity of having more people watching films showcasing lives lived by people with disabilities and illnesses; that while the health stories of these individuals may be more complex and unique, but their life stories are just like anyone else.  The more eyes we can get from them general public to see this community, the more understanding and change that can arise from it.

Photos Courtesy of IMBD

If no films were coming out with characters living with chronic illnesses or disabilities, then the ease in which people can talk about the health subjects diminishes. When I suggest to young adults talking with friends about their health struggles, I tell them sometimes it can help to show their friends what that daily journey is like.

And often, young people tell me they want to reference what’s sort of similar to their life and portrayed in the media, the films and TV shows they watch, with characters living with similar conditions.  

 

You can have young people tell their friends to watch the 5th season of Freeform’s THE FOSTERS because a main character, Jesus, is living with a traumatic brain injury (TBI), and the show is displaying an entire arc about the process of recovery personally, socially, academically and emotionally. Actor, Noah Centineo, and the writers, talked often about the preparation that went into bringing accuracy and justice to this plot line.

Then we go to another show, Canadian-born (and globally famous) teen TV drama, Degrassi, where so many different story arcs for decades showcase what various illnesses and disabilities could look like for teens.  From characters living with mental health struggles like depression and OCD, to illnesses like leukemia and cystic fibrosis, DEGRASSI prides itself on tackling topics that show diversity in all its forms. While hiring actors living with these health struggles lacks, Degrassi breaking stigmas to open the conversations in real life, to create more understanding, open minds and change.

However, a line needs to be drawn when it comes to this wave of media using characters with illness or disability to romanticize or dramatize the storylines.

Health struggles should not be a plot device to add more complexity to a storyline or character, because it reality, that is not how it works.  As someone living with an illness, I don’t get the luxury to “turn it on or off” when it suits the situations in my life…and there certainly isn’t any romantic background music playing when I have to tell people about my health struggles.  This is where accuracy completely disintegrates and it can tarnish an entire film, when these storylines lack realism.  So yes, while I can be happy for opening the door of conversation and normalizing the visibility of illnesses and disabilities mainstream, they are done so without accuracy. And that’s should not continue.

Last year, films came out and addressed lead characters living with disability and illness…but the characters and storylines where not only lacking in accuracy to the daily life of someone with that health struggle, but also the actors were able-bodied and healthy.

That inaccuracy may not be apparent to audiences not living with health issues, but for anyone living with any sort of illness or disability, the films and actors are like neon lights pointing out the wrongs.  With WONDER, while a beautiful storyline, it has an able-bodied character portraying the genetic disorder Treacher Collins Syndrome.

And with EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, the immune-deficiency disease SCID, Severe Combined Immunodeficiency, is also portrayed by an actress not living with illness—and when this film was coming out, all over our twitter we saw reactions from the Spoonie community talking about the major inaccuracies of the illness portrayal and character lifestyle.  “It’s so unrealistic” I would hear youth say. What made it feel even worse was that a general audience would never notice the flaws and assume this is how relationships and life can look for any of their friends with illnesses or disabilities. Stereotyping the “illness lifestyle” is what continues to enable ignorance, lack of understanding and empathy for change.

Even a film that I enjoyed, THE FAULT IN OUR STARS, lacks realism and has two able-bodied actors without illness portraying osteosarcoma/subsequent amputation and Stage 4 Thyroid Cancer.  I enjoy the film and book as pieces of fictional storytelling. I love the love story of the two characters, the satire in which teenage illness is discussed among all the characters, because while not accurate at times, the tone is so similar to my outlook. I tell friends this movie has moments that are relatable to the experience, and it is a film that can get my friends to feel comfortable asking me questions about my health because of that.

In a way, films and TV shows that have what I call “the health struggle plot line” need to be used as talking points or references to help bring that destigmatizing conversation WITH A DISCLAIMER.  There needs to be a ‘fine print’ comment every time you want to use a film or character to reference…saying “well this character is living life with an illness similar to mine…yes, it’s not super accurate, but it can show you a bit of what that feels like for me.” I always use the disclaimer method, when using media and film to try and explain to friends what my relationships and lifestyle can be like, and that can feel disheartening because there’s so much in daily life I need to teach others around me as I adapt, I shouldn’t have to do this with film portrayals too.

In my opinion, it’s disheartening that in 2018, we still have to put a disclaimer to these storylines, that they cannot be made accurately.  And yes, let’s giving the benefit of the doubt because everyone’s experience with an illness or disability is different. Two people with the same diagnosis do not respond, treat, or adapt to life the same ways…so one portrayal in a film may match up exactly to my life, but not someone else’s with my diagnosis. That’s the way uniqueness in society works, so it’s all about finding common ground and working from there.

Look at a movie coming out next month, MIDNIGHT SUN, where the female lead is living with a rare genetic disorder, Xeroderma Pigmentosum.  Is it wonderful that rare diseases are FINALLY getting some screen time and going into mainstream films so more people can talk about it? Absolutely! But how much does it suck that the portrayal is by an actress without the illness, and the illness is romanticized, instead of realistically portrayed? A lot!

To see films using illness as a plot point for romance and drama, that is what needs to stop because it’s not realistic.  How about films just happen to have their lead characters living with an illness or disability, and something else causes the drama or romance to build? That would be interesting AND original…two things films are always looking to create.

But to me, what matters most, what it truly gets down to, is the lack of opportunity for actors with disabilities or illnesses to portray what is this life and journey accurately. So often, characters are developed for a film or TV show where they are designed to have an illness or disability and the actor that gets the part has zero connection to it.

They are not chronically ill or disabled and have to “portray” the role without any personal experience.  It seems so contradictory to not hire an actor with a disability to portray a character with a disability.  There are so many talented young people around the world living with chronic illnesses and disabilities that are actors and they should be the first choice for hire!  These individuals should be the ones on the casting list, and it’s for not just accuracy in the storyline, but also it continues to build inclusivity in the industry.

And even more disheartening is how true this is when it takes me FOREVER to come up with just a couple examples in my head of TV shows or films with accurate casting. It shouldn’t take much effort to list off accurately casted films or shows. When the industry says, “oh there aren’t that many actors to fill the need” or “it would be hard to assist or adapt to these actors” I have to call their bluff and say that’s such a ridiculous copout. Heck, our latest Celebrity Ambassador, Melissa Johns, is a British disability activist and actress, and she’s such a talented actress!

Look at the positives when a film or show are accurately casted. The Freeform show SWITCHED AT BIRTH, was centered around many characters that were deaf or hearing impaired (the actress Katie Leclerc who portrays one of the protagonists, Daphne, lives with hearing loss due to Meniere’s disease, an illness also given to her character). The variety of communication like American Sign Language, is a great example of how to integrate differences between those living with deafness or illness and those who do not. And bonus… actors like Katie Leclerc, Sean Berdy, Ryan Lane, and Marlee Matlin, have actual hearing impairments so it was accurate and inclusively casted!  The show feels even more authentic, passionate, and inspired because the characters are portrayed by individuals with the exact illness and disability.

Wouldn’t the film industry want to bring that much truth and emotion out of their audiences, bring that much notoriety and conversation and impact society enough to make lasting change?

I think it should, and that is the main point of contention in this international debate.

That is why I really want to believe in the positives of both seeing all this representation of illness/disability in films and TV, while also seeing the benefits of accuracy in storylines when illness or disability are being brought into the fold.

While you can either find representation or accuracy more important in films, what truly matters is that there needs to be more opportunity for actors with illnesses and disabilities.  There needs to be more roles written to portray this community, with requirements of accurate casting. There needs to be more opportunities for these fantastic actors to be hired to show their talent playing any roles, whether their illness or disability is the focal point or not.

My truest goal is that we can see films or TV shows that have actors with illnesses and disabilities on a regular basis, a true progression that needs to be made to show all the facets of societal diversity.

~Dominique

Spotlight Story Program: Rachel Mayo’s Story

Meet Rachel Mayo

As a university freshman, Rachel was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and it changed her way of way. But Rachel decided to take her new diagnosis and not just better her life, but motivate others with T1D to do the same. And she’s been doing that across the United States ever since. Plus…we’re thrilled Rachel will keep working with InvisiYouth as 2018 continues.

I grew up full of energy, always going from one thing to the next, without a need to hit the “slow down” button.

As a freshman in college, when it started to require more and more energy to do basic things, like walk to class, sit through class, even, I began to worry a little. Why did I need a three-hour nap after my 50-minute English class, when just months before, I was fine getting only 50 minutes of sleep every night?

“Worried” probably isn’t even the right word. I just noticed the difference. Since my mom worked for a general physician, I decided to get a general check-up. I figured my hormones were just out of whack, and as soon as I was relieved of the stress of my semester and moved back home for the summer, I would return to normal.

It’s no surprise that was not the cure for whatever was wrong with me. (That would make for an awfully boring story, don’t you think?) The day after my last final of my freshman year, I went to the doctor, and was told that if what they suspected was right, that there was no cure for whatever was wrong with me.

The next day, at 7:15 am, I went to see an endocrinologist, they drew blood, and after several anxiety-filled minutes of waiting, It was confirmed. I had Type 1 Diabetes (T1D).

There is no cure.

I would have to take insulin for the rest of my life.

I was mostly shocked.

Not necessarily angry, but I was sad. Confused. Full of questions. But for the most part, I was okay.

Three days later, I was at the mall with my mom and sister, and we had put our shopping on hold to refuel. (Eat lunch.)

At the food court, over my chicken sandwich and the Diet Coke I was still trying to learn to love, I broke down. I’m talking crocodile tears pouring down my face. I had every emotion running through my veins at that moment and I felt completely out of control.

That’s when I decided that the best way for me to deal with this disease would be to help other people deal with this disease. I had no idea what that looked like at the time, as I still had no idea how to handle my diagnosis. But I knew I could tackle it, and I knew I wanted to use it to help others.

Fast forward and I know what that looks like now. I have spent the last year traveling and speaking to different groups with T1D around the world, helping them to navigate this disease with a positive spirit.

I use social media to share pictures and videos of my life with T1D. I share my victories, my frustrations, and try my hardest to let others with T1D know they are not alone in what they go through.

I also love to educate those without T1D about the difficulties of living with this disease. Since T1D is an invisible illness, it is easy for others to overlook the constant inner battle we fight every day.

While this disease does not define me, it is a very big part of me, and has helped shape me into the person I am today. And if I may be so frank, I really like the person I am today. The person I am today is brave, even when it’s frightening, is adventurous, even when it takes work, and is gracious, even with herself.

But it took work to get there. What has helped me the most is using my story to help others. It is so therapeutic to lay down all of my battle scars for others to see and realize that they have friends who are in the trenches with them.

The community of people I have surrounded myself with has been crucial. I love getting on twitter and conversing with my #DOC (Diabetes Online Community) friends.

It’s like walking into my own special little T1D world where everyone is willing to give you advice when you need it, or just let you vent when you don’t. It’s not weird when I say “my blood sugar got so low my tongue went numb” or “I got a unicorn today!”

My T1D community has truly been life changing for me.

I don’t want it to sound like I have it all figured out and I am completely okay. I’m not. I get burned out. I get angry. I cry so hard I start to hyperventilate.

But that is okay. I have permission to do that, and once I figured that out, it got easier for me to get through those times. It’s okay to feel those things! But it’s not a healthy spot to set up camp.

What I want, more than anything, is for people with chronic illnesses, to understand that they can do anything. Absolutely anything. And YES it might be difficult, but it is so very worth it.

This past year alone I went skydiving, ran a half-marathon, visited 24 states, and five countries including UAE, Mexico, and three countries in Africa.

“I could never do that,” is what I heard from many of my T1D friends after every new adventure. It breaks my heart every time I hear that.

YES YOU CAN! There’s a strategy for everything, and there is nothing this disease can prevent you from doing.

Find a community that lifts you up. Get rid of the negative people, words, and elements in your life. Take baby steps. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how brave you are. Tell yourself you can do anything. And if you still doubt yourself, find me, and I will tell you.

You can do anything. I believe in you.

A Season of Giving, A Time of Gratitude for All the Often Unsung Heroes in Our Spoonie Lives

December 20, 2017

 As the holiday season rolls upon us, we are all bombarded with some holiday spirit in some shape or form. Sometimes it may not feel that jolly or cheerful, when that serious case of F.O.M.O. kicks in because your health or limitations may prevent you from being the #1 social member of your friends. That’s gotten to me loads of times in the past when I had to give the “spoonie no” because my body prevented me from taking part. But as years have done on, and I’ve settled into my adapted-normal way of life, I have come to note that my sentiment of missing out should not be my focus. Not just during the holidays, but for all 365 days of the year.

I have always been a lover of the wonder and joy that the holiday season brings…seriously the Hallmark Channel Christmas movie Marathon is a background staple in my house. All that fresh pine and cold, crisp air, that rich warmth of Christmas light illuminated around while being surrounded by family, that make makes you feel a bit more wonder-filled than any other time. It is from my love of blissful optimism of this time of year that my focus remains on all the good times, fun moments and what I’m capable of and grateful for as the year comes to an end. When you deliberately choose to focus on what you have and are grateful for, the more your attitude will be optimistic and you’ll be able to feel that holiday spirit.

As I let that Christmas energy spread, I get time to reflect on what to be grateful for, some major gratitude. Usually, I’m told to be grateful for those moments of health, of my body functioning well. And that is something I am thankful for as this medically-crazy year ends. But I want to show love to that second layer of my health journey, my caregiver inner circle. All too often, I’m complimented on how I adapt my health struggles, and the platform my organization has given for the young adult “medically unique” community to live fun, fulfilled and badass lives. And while I appreciate the kindness, I always want to say, “there’s so much love and support in my life, that’s why I’m capable of doing all I do.

The support systems we develop as young adults with chronic illnesses, injuries and disabilities are the unsung heroes in our daily existence. They are the individuals that see us in our vulnerable and courageous moments in life, they ones who advise us on our life choices and stay by our sides to get us through all the hurdles and cheer us on when we reach a milestone.  They come in all forms: parents, siblings, loved ones, friends, caregivers, doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, talk therapists, and more.  These supporters are like secret ingredients that make for the perfect medical recipe for recovery and lifestyle success when living with illness or disability.

As I looked back on 2017, I noticed that it was one of a lot of medical complexities for me personally.  Going into my ninth year as someone with health struggles post-injury, I was able to really look at all the people who’ve been there for me, who’ve stepped up during my resurfacing injuries, and new health battles.  The people who’ve been part of my story since day one, and those who’ve joined along the way. I couldn’t reflect on 2017 without talking about the people who’ve helped pull me through a tough medical year, and have assisted me being able to go into 2018 with more clarity and adapted normalcy again.

I’ve been thankful for my friends, both new and old for always being there for me.  When many of friends were confused by my health struggles when I was younger, I had lots of people pull away, using their lack of understanding and insecurity about my health as a means to an end. But the friends I have now, my loyal group of funny and trusting friends, have always been open-minded, asked questions, just gave me a shoulder to lean on, and a stupid joke to laugh at.  Some were friends before my injury, others during the mist of my medial chaos, while more are from the chronic illness community that’ve joined my life since I launched InvisiYouth.

I’ve been thankful for my doctors and clinicians who’ve been part of this crazy journey since I was fifteen with a swollen blue foot and hand, especially my physical therapists.  When your doctor count goes as high as mine does, you tend to have a special place in your heart for those that truly dedicate themselves to making your health improve, to beating the symptoms and setbacks alongside you.  I’ve had the same physical therapists since day one, basically seven years, and it is their constant fixture in my treatment, especially this year as I walked back into the PT world yet again, that really made me grateful for them as they pushed me and made me laugh through it all.

I’ve been thankful for my sister, who’s always been a supporter and warm heart throughout all the changes that life can bring.  She’s been a best friend that’s always made me continue being young and energized while my health was not.  I got to grow up and experience a semblance of normal teen years because my sister made sure I got to be part of it.

I’ve been thankful for my parents who’ve pulled me through the ups and downs my health brought.  For my dad’s ability to come into my PT sessions, tell me jokes and make me laugh when my body wanted to give up. For my mom’s great heart, dedication and undying love as she brought me to every doctor, talked out medical decisions, showed me the positive in each situation, so I always believed in myself.  My parents are the greatest people I know, the best duo I’m grateful raised me to give back and love with a whole heart.

It is these people, their support of me that often goes unnoticed by the outside world, but it never goes unnoticed by me.

These unsung heroes offer their support, expertise, humor, shoulders to cry on and guidance without ever being asked.  They are the individuals I am most grateful for as the year closes, and as I’m moving into a new invigorated chapter of life, especially in a new exciting time for InvisiYouth Charity, I have these people, and so many others that aren’t even mentioned, to thank.

Gratitude for your support of my health, my organization, my dreams and just of me.  And spoonies: take that time to show some gratitude to your support systems, to your unsung heroes this holiday season.  It’ll surely get you in the spirit of getting 2017 ending on a high note and 2018 starting off in a positive footing.

~Dominique

Press Release Coverage of InvisiYouth Introduces Nonprofit’s Own Illness Lifestyle Management Tools

July 27, 2017

By Dominique Viel

PR Newswire, with PR firm Luna Public Relations, has released a press release introducing InvisiYouth Charity’s very own developing teen and young adult illness lifestyle management tools to the national and international media. Below:

‘InvisiYouth’ First-Ever Nonprofit to Empower Teens and Young Adults Battling Chronic Illness: New charity provides lifestyle management tools to fill gap in older youth healthcare

A new nonproift, 501(c)3 organization, InvisiYouth Charity, is filling a critical void in healthcare by providing lifestyle management resources to empower teens and young adults suffering from all types of chronic illnesses. The first and only organization of its kind, InvisiYouth focuses on the non-medical aspect of illness management and helps young people lead meaningful, happy lives, despite health setbacks.

Led by founder 24-year-old Dominique Viel, InvisiYouth gives a voice to teens and young adults between the ages 13 – 25 who are often overlooked in the decision-making process when it comes to their health. Inspired by her own experience as a former teen tennis player who suffered an injury and developed a neurovascular condition, Viel launched InvisiYouth.

“Due to the focus of the healthcare system on addressing medical needs of patients, there is inadequate support when it comes to helping older youth acclimate to life with illness or injury, outside the medical environment,” said Viel. “Many young people feel they are invisible or powerless when it comes to their health, as well as their academic, social and personal choices.”

“This is where InvisiYouth steps in,” continued Viel. “We help young people become empowered and resilient –invincible– with our tools, tips and lifestyle hacks so they can live each day to the fullest.”

Through a combination of advocacy, education and multi-city events that involve older youth both nationally and internationally, the organization works to combat the social and emotional challenges faced by teens and young adults with chronic physical and mental illnesses, and injuries, and works to end stigmas related to invisible illness. For more information about InvisiYouth Charity or to get involved, visit www.invisiyouthcharity.com

About InvisiYouth Charity
InvisiYouth Charity is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that provides lifestyle management tools to empower teens and young adults suffering from chronic physical or mental illness. Through a combination of advocacy, education and events that work with older youth both nationally and internationally, the organization functions as a resource to help young people battling visible or invisible illnesses cope with the social and emotional challenges they face, and teach them and their support teams how to manage this unique lifestyle. For more information, visit www.invisiyouthcharity.com

You can also view the press release in its original format here.

New Jersey Music Store Makes Donation of All Proceeds From Spring Fundraiser Recital to InvisiYouth Charity

By Dominique Viel

May 27, 2017

This weekend, InvisiYouth Charity was selected to be the charity of choice for the Music Forever Spring Recital. Hosted in New Jersey, this music store, born from the iconic NJ music store Lou Rose Music Center, has over 180 students ranging from 5-70 years of age and teaches instruments from guitar, drums, and piano, to ukulele, cello, saxophone, and flute, and everything in-between.

It’s a hands on, family-orientated music store that takes such immense pride in developing passionate lovers of music.

InvisiYouth Charity was beyond thrilled to be accepted as the charity recipient of all the proceeds from the recital and kind donations from many of the families and friends in the audience. Our founder, Dominique Viel, is a fellow New Jersey native and loves the support InvisiYouth receives from the Garden State.

Even more so, it is the connection of music that drove Music Forever and InvisiYouth Charity to collaborate for adaptive therapy programs and activities, especially when it comes to all the arts. The charity has witnessed the benefits of music therapy firsthand and constantly advocates to their teen and young adult patient supporters to look into music programs. It was this advocacy for music that intrigued Music Forever to make InvisiYouth this charity of choice.

Whether physically assistive for their needs or recovery plans, or just cathartic programs, music therapy is something that anyone, healthy or living with illness, should have in their lives.

It has been InvisiYouth’s goal to bring this mission of different lifestyle hacks for the chronic illness community to the forefront, so the platform to speak to dozens and dozens of young people who have a passion for music was a major benefit.

Our founder, Dominique Viel, got to attend the recitals, speaking to the crowds about InvisIYouth and how others can get involved and help.

Through her own experiences as a former ‘teen spoonie’ Dominique is able to connect to the young people and give firsthand leadership behind helping teens and young adults with chronic illness navigate life with illness.

InvisiYouth was able to connect with lots of young people and parents about our work, getting more people involved. As if there a better way to end the fundraiser day than great music, InvisiYouth was given a check (a very large check, actually) with a donation of ALL the proceeds from the recitals.

InvisiYouth Charity was given a check of over $1,110 where 100% of the funds will be used for InvisIYouth’s currently developing lifestyle programs. 

Beyond speechless and a humbling moment for our founder, who was able to be given the check in front of the entire audience of young people, family and friends.

It is fundraisers like this one, moments where InvisiYouth Charity gets to interact with young people and families, to share with more people how we want to assist and motivate youth with chronic illness and advocate for and alongside them to have platforms to live their best lives.

If you would like to host a fundraiser for InvisiYouth Charity like this one, or have our founder Dominique Viel as a guest speaker at your next event, please contact us.

The Invisible Illness Chronicles: It Can Be Exhausting to Feel Like You Need To Act Healthy When You Don’t Feel Healthy

October 17th 2017

I constantly get questions about the hacks to living with chronic illness (I mean, that’s what InvisiYouth Charity’s mission in life is all about). Those questions double when it comes to life with an invisible illness. It only seemed appropriate that with part of my monthly blog I would wrote some blogs on topics surrounding invisible illness.

At InvisiYouth, we constantly promote the vitally-needed change of inclusivity on all chronic illnesses. To treat physical health and mental health exactly the same. To show equal support and aid regardless of visibility. To note that invisible illnesses are note just of the mind, but also of the body too.  So…to honor if you will, the fact that I live with one foot in both the visible and invisible physical health struggles, I’ll be occasionally posting articles on the unseen struggles. These are appropriately titled “The Invisible Illness Chronicles.”

The biggest struggles living with invisible illness (besides the actual illness itself, of course) is how you can look so healthy and feel so horrible. It can be like you’re living in a sound proof booth without the mic on, everyone can see you, but no one can hear what’s going on. For myself, it’s this weird concept of dealing with all these medical symptoms affecting my nervous system, muscles and vascular system but no one can truly see the damage it takes on my body at all times.

So when my life has to involve the outside world, specially those not in my close inner circle, I feel like I have to put up the mask, to adapt and get through my schedule for the day. I go into business meetings, and conference calls with potential advertisers and Skype calls with older youth health advocates and subconsciously, I put up a front as the “healthy nonprofit owner” because that’s what I know what I look like.  Sometimes I’m driving to meetings with slippers and sunglasses, isotoner braces on my ankle, hand and knee, but the second I park my car, I have to take all that off, strap on heels, and put on the boss lady smile to power through meetings.

Now I say “I have to” like it’s an obligation, but this is a decision I make out of societal structure if I’m honest.  I look completely healthy on some days, but anatomically, my RSD and connective tissue does not reflect that at all.  I am living with a chronic illness that I have to adapt my entire way of life around it, but the people who do not know me would not know that because I’ve had nine years to master a “new normal” way at life.

Truly, it is exhausting to act like I am healthy, to walk, sit, talk, and be the healthy person my physical body makes everyone think I am.  But also, it is equally exhausting to have to explain to every single new person that I meet what my medical situation truly is, to tell them about my chronic illness.  So I have make a decision: should I be exhausted by having to try to explain my health to people who I’m just meeting, or be exhausted by acting as healthy as I look?

I choose the later.

When you are living with an invisible illness, it can be really hard to be given any true empathy because no one can gage your medical situation by looking at you.  No one that is not a family member, sibling, caregiver, boyfriend/girlfriend, or friend knows about the health struggles you live with on a minute by minute basis, so they honesty think everything is completely fine with you.  It becomes and ‘all on you’ situation because the world will not automatically feel for your chronic illness because it cannot see it.

You need to dig deep in yourself, find strength and sympathy in yourself for your own journey with your illness.  Find comfort in those around the world that are also living with your invisible illness that can relate to your truth.

It’s a two-fold community you need:  get your supporters who can build you up like family and friends that are by your side because they love you, and get others in your life living the same journey of invisible illness that relate to you.

That is why I make the conscious decision to put on the mask when I need to be the healthy nonprofit owner that my physical body says I am on some days, to walk into meetings with sponsors or fellow charity owners and I will meet with them for hours of work, getting back into the office completely exhausted and dealing with symptoms and side effects for hours of recovery.

I repeat, it is so beyond exhausting to act as healthy as I look from both a medical standpoint and mental standpoint because my entire body physically will hurt from the trauma I put onto it to “act healthy” while I also put myself under stress from people just not relating to the situations I am going through.

But there is a bright side to all of this.  When I get back to my office, I’m on a mental rush of all the good things that will come from the work that I’m doing, from the philanthropic work I do each day for the young people I get to help.

Also, I sometimes feel like I have to act as healthy as I look when I give speeches to teens, or meet up with old friends.  And the funniest thing is that for those hours, none of them will ever know about my health…that is until I reveal that I am living with an invisible illness!  It is absolutely amazing when I pull up my photos of the physical symptoms of living with a neurovascular condition and the physical symptoms that sometimes to plague my body that sway the pendulum over to the visible illness category.

It is amazing to see the way people treat me completely changes once they can actually see my illness. And that’s so wrong if I’m honest! There is just an entire new level of recognition on these high schoolers’ faces when these young people can finally see that I am someone that lives with a chronic illness but also lives a completely fulfilled life…I just live it on my own terms the way my body allows, regardless of what society says is “normal.”

There are so many days I wish I could yell out to the world, take some sort of magic wand and immediately change how society looks at those it deems ‘different’ in one swoop.  That invisible illnesses are not something to fear or be confused by, but something to learn from and give empathy to like everything else in life.  No one should feel obligated to hide their health, it should just be an automatically understood element to someone’s lifestyle.

Everyone is unique, and if we celebrated uniqueness, then we shouldn’t have a problem embracing that when we meet people, because we would constantly be learning.

I always say that living with an invisible illness is like a game of “Where’s Waldo?” The problem is that none of these people were told to were the signature red-and-white striped shirts and black glasses so no one can find them among the crowds throughout the world.  It is our job as a society to become vocal and talk so we’re found, and to change the stigmas surrounding invisible illnesses of all kinds.

~Dominique