A Season of Giving, A Time of Gratitude for All the Often Unsung Heroes in Our Spoonie Lives

December 20, 2017

 As the holiday season rolls upon us, we are all bombarded with some holiday spirit in some shape or form. Sometimes it may not feel that jolly or cheerful, when that serious case of F.O.M.O. kicks in because your health or limitations may prevent you from being the #1 social member of your friends. That’s gotten to me loads of times in the past when I had to give the “spoonie no” because my body prevented me from taking part. But as years have done on, and I’ve settled into my adapted-normal way of life, I have come to note that my sentiment of missing out should not be my focus. Not just during the holidays, but for all 365 days of the year.

I have always been a lover of the wonder and joy that the holiday season brings…seriously the Hallmark Channel Christmas movie Marathon is a background staple in my house. All that fresh pine and cold, crisp air, that rich warmth of Christmas light illuminated around while being surrounded by family, that make makes you feel a bit more wonder-filled than any other time. It is from my love of blissful optimism of this time of year that my focus remains on all the good times, fun moments and what I’m capable of and grateful for as the year comes to an end. When you deliberately choose to focus on what you have and are grateful for, the more your attitude will be optimistic and you’ll be able to feel that holiday spirit.

As I let that Christmas energy spread, I get time to reflect on what to be grateful for, some major gratitude. Usually, I’m told to be grateful for those moments of health, of my body functioning well. And that is something I am thankful for as this medically-crazy year ends. But I want to show love to that second layer of my health journey, my caregiver inner circle. All too often, I’m complimented on how I adapt my health struggles, and the platform my organization has given for the young adult “medically unique” community to live fun, fulfilled and badass lives. And while I appreciate the kindness, I always want to say, “there’s so much love and support in my life, that’s why I’m capable of doing all I do.

The support systems we develop as young adults with chronic illnesses, injuries and disabilities are the unsung heroes in our daily existence. They are the individuals that see us in our vulnerable and courageous moments in life, they ones who advise us on our life choices and stay by our sides to get us through all the hurdles and cheer us on when we reach a milestone.  They come in all forms: parents, siblings, loved ones, friends, caregivers, doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, talk therapists, and more.  These supporters are like secret ingredients that make for the perfect medical recipe for recovery and lifestyle success when living with illness or disability.

As I looked back on 2017, I noticed that it was one of a lot of medical complexities for me personally.  Going into my ninth year as someone with health struggles post-injury, I was able to really look at all the people who’ve been there for me, who’ve stepped up during my resurfacing injuries, and new health battles.  The people who’ve been part of my story since day one, and those who’ve joined along the way. I couldn’t reflect on 2017 without talking about the people who’ve helped pull me through a tough medical year, and have assisted me being able to go into 2018 with more clarity and adapted normalcy again.

I’ve been thankful for my friends, both new and old for always being there for me.  When many of friends were confused by my health struggles when I was younger, I had lots of people pull away, using their lack of understanding and insecurity about my health as a means to an end. But the friends I have now, my loyal group of funny and trusting friends, have always been open-minded, asked questions, just gave me a shoulder to lean on, and a stupid joke to laugh at.  Some were friends before my injury, others during the mist of my medial chaos, while more are from the chronic illness community that’ve joined my life since I launched InvisiYouth.

I’ve been thankful for my doctors and clinicians who’ve been part of this crazy journey since I was fifteen with a swollen blue foot and hand, especially my physical therapists.  When your doctor count goes as high as mine does, you tend to have a special place in your heart for those that truly dedicate themselves to making your health improve, to beating the symptoms and setbacks alongside you.  I’ve had the same physical therapists since day one, basically seven years, and it is their constant fixture in my treatment, especially this year as I walked back into the PT world yet again, that really made me grateful for them as they pushed me and made me laugh through it all.

I’ve been thankful for my sister, who’s always been a supporter and warm heart throughout all the changes that life can bring.  She’s been a best friend that’s always made me continue being young and energized while my health was not.  I got to grow up and experience a semblance of normal teen years because my sister made sure I got to be part of it.

I’ve been thankful for my parents who’ve pulled me through the ups and downs my health brought.  For my dad’s ability to come into my PT sessions, tell me jokes and make me laugh when my body wanted to give up. For my mom’s great heart, dedication and undying love as she brought me to every doctor, talked out medical decisions, showed me the positive in each situation, so I always believed in myself.  My parents are the greatest people I know, the best duo I’m grateful raised me to give back and love with a whole heart.

It is these people, their support of me that often goes unnoticed by the outside world, but it never goes unnoticed by me.

These unsung heroes offer their support, expertise, humor, shoulders to cry on and guidance without ever being asked.  They are the individuals I am most grateful for as the year closes, and as I’m moving into a new invigorated chapter of life, especially in a new exciting time for InvisiYouth Charity, I have these people, and so many others that aren’t even mentioned, to thank.

Gratitude for your support of my health, my organization, my dreams and just of me.  And spoonies: take that time to show some gratitude to your support systems, to your unsung heroes this holiday season.  It’ll surely get you in the spirit of getting 2017 ending on a high note and 2018 starting off in a positive footing.

~Dominique

Spotlight Story Program: Louise’s Story

Meet Louise Cooper

We’ve gotten to know Louise first as one of the cool British health and lifestyle bloggers that followed InvisiYouth, but we are getting to know her even better as a member of the InvisiYouth team for this winter’s Superhero Series Winter Games this December!  She’s an Ehlers Danlos Syndrome warrior that’s found ways to balance her love of sport and travel with her illnesses, and her open honestly makes her one to watch in our book.

My name is Louise, I’m originally from Essex, England. I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, PoTS, Chiari and a whole host of other conditions in 2015 and am still under investigation for a variety of things!

I have always been a “sporty” person, I didn’t find out about my EDS (a connective tissue disorder that can affect the skin, joints, muscles and vascular system with hyper-mobility and hyperelasticity) until three years ago when I was 25, but have been in and out of hospital my whole life and had a back brace for scoliosis at the age of 12 for a few years. The only time I didn’t have to wear my back brace was when I was exercising, so, if there was a sport – I did it! I was also a competitive swimmer throughout my teens, I even made it to nationals (albeit in a relay team by HEY, it still counts!). Unfortunately, after various immune issues and bouts of glandular fever and CMV my exercise started to tail off in my late teens and early 20s.

I held down a full-time job for 5 years, bought my own apartment and car, I had everything I needed! Things came to a head around 18 months ago and my body just said ENOUGH, I was working ridiculous hours at a job in London with the commute, and not looking after myself much. The average person would burn out, let alone someone with a chronic illness, but I guess that’s just the fight in me.

So I started back with physio, some days I’m fine, some days I’m not! I like someone who gives me physio exercises based around the gym – I just respond better that way, I like to be challenged and push myself further however it is SO important to do this correctly and under supervision. Physio will always be a part of my life as I will always have ups and downs in my health but I dont see this as a negative, I learn each time what I can do to strengthen or protect my body in order to prevent or minimize thedisruptionto my body for the next time.

I have found it’s important to use supports, straps and anything else for your physio exercises and gym routines. This will always give you the confidence to know you are safe while exercising! I currently wear, finger, x 2 wrist, knee and back supports when working out. While there’s not an awful lot I can do about my ligaments and tendons, I can strengthen and tone the muscles around my body to get them performing as best as possible! Being back in the gym the last two years hasn’t always been easy. I’ve a fair share of blips along the way with disc tears, bulges and tarlov cysts now appearing, but this has only made me more determined to keep going! Keeping mobile and active reduces my pain, but there is a very careful balance, I have to make sure I dont overdo it and listen to my body!

I also have to make sure that I listen to my health not just through exercise, but through my diet and medications as well.

By health, I mean nutrition, taking my tablets and everything in between. I’ve always had food intolerances, but recently these have become a lot worse. I don’t believe in cutting out EVERYTHING from your diet, it’s everything in moderation and finding out what works for you.

My motto is – listen to yourself. I find my body tells me what I need but generally, I’ll eat meat, fresh veg and a small portion of carbs. Its about trial and error and finding what works for you, and you really, really do have to persevere, it won’t change in a week, it has to be a lifestyle change in order for it to work.

Possibly most importantly – Take your medication!! They are prescribed for a reason – and I know this can be hard, I am forgetful, this is something I’ve really had to work on! It sounds SO easy and its not that I don’t want to take them it just becomes – I’ll do it in a minute! How do I manage it now? I leave my tablets in my room and kitchen, if there staring at me, I can’t avoid them!

When living with chronic illness, it not only can take a toll on your physical health but also your mental health. My mental health impacts on my ability to participate in my exercise plans and my dietary programs. If I am feeling pessimistic (which we are all entitled to at times) or having a bad day, I am less likely to want to go to the gym or look after myself as well or cook my dinner.

Now this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nobody in the world is 100% positive all day everyday, but for the most part, I think it is important to have a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA). Even on my bad days, I always try and find a positive. For this reason, I usually have flowers around the house – if I can’t think of anything else nice about my day or if I’m feeling low, I can always look at flowers to give me a “pick me up.”  Negative thoughts cannot change what has happened or the current situation you may be in or what your future may hold. But, what can change it? Trying.

Trying everything, and anything thrown your way.

I moved/travelled to New Zealand, started promotional modeling, made a great group of friends, went on adventures, hiked 4 hours in a bush, appeared on TV (albeit an extra!), my health was the best it had ever been! I’ve recently started a forum along with some Chronic Illness friends and we will be uploading beginners home workouts and basic physio (all are qualified, I will just be performing the routines).

But one day I woke up unable to move and spent the next 2-3 weeks in and out of hospital and have since, pack up my room and sold my furniture in New Zealand and returned to Essex to give my best chance of recover and further testing on what we believe may be neurological.

One thing that I’ve always found incredibly hard – and still do – is I look totally “normal”. I don’t have a cast on my leg or have visible scars so I often hear the phrase “but you don’t look sick”. I’m quite open about my health and try and raise as much awareness as possible, by posting “normal” pictures and trying to change the way illnesses are perceived – just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there!

Am I nervous, anxious and scared? Of course! But I’ll keep trying and determined to keep going, if I’ve learnt anything its that were a lot stronger than we realize and give ourselves credit for.

That is why I’m so appreciative of being asked by InvisiYouth to be a part of their Charity Team for this past Superhero Series Triathlon for disability adaptive sports.  And while I couldn’t compete that day, I am thrilled to be part of the new InvisiYouth Charity Team for the upcoming Superhero Series Event this December, Superhero Winter Games. The work they do is very close to my heart and something I’m so passionate about – I wish I would have had this connection to the community in my teens – before the days of social media!! I cannot wait to support InvisiYouth in the Superhero Winter Games run and hopefully raise a bit of awareness too!